Google’s Material 3 Expressive Update Is Nothing but Cosmetic Trickery
Hello everyone. Today we’re talking about Google’s much-hyped “Material 3 Expressive” update – a name so pompously over-engineered it sounds like the title of an avant-garde indie album. The headlines proudly declare it as a “visual overhaul.” And yet, here we are, staring at Google Contacts, which now looks exactly like what it was before – except with a few more pill-shaped outlines, as if someone in the design department raided their grandmother’s vitamin cabinet for UI inspiration.
A Revolution of Ovals
The crown jewel of this so-called overhaul? Drumroll please… the contacts now have pill-shaped outlines. Yes, folks, you too can now bask in the glory of rounded rectangles surrounding your buddies’ names. Once upon a time buttons were square, now they’re circular pills. This is what design evolution has been reduced to – a toddler with scissors cutting construction paper into softer edges. Bold, daring, truly innovative! I’d almost call it “next-gen,” but let’s not insult actual next-gen features like ray tracing or SSD load times by comparing them to UI geometry tweaks.
In fact, they’ve even swapped out the familiar round action buttons for slightly elongated ovals. Because who doesn’t need their “Call” and “Message” icons elongated like clingy taffy for the sake of “modernization”? It’s design minimalism theater – functionality is the same, but ah, doesn’t it just look ever so expressive now?
Cohesion or Cult Uniformity?
Google’s PR line on this is that it’s all in service of “cohesion.” Translation: they want every Google app to look the same so your brain can be gently lobotomized into thinking you’re inside some slick dystopian ecosystem that monopolizes app design. Let’s call it what it is – conformity masked as progress. You’ll see the same pill shapes in Contacts, Calendar, Keep, Gmail, and then one day, when your children look at paper squares, they’ll be confused why buttons weren’t always oblong vitamin tablets.
Conspiracy theory time: maybe these pill-shaped icons are designed to subconsciously condition us into yearning for Google’s eventual healthcare ventures. You’re staring at contact buttons shaped like medication capsules, and when Google Health wants to track your vitals, you’ll already be mentally prepared to swallow it whole. Just a theory… but not the least believable one when it comes to Mountain View’s ambitions.
The Gaming Patch Notes of Tech
Honestly, this so-called overhaul reads like patch notes for a badly managed live service game. “Adjusted button borders. Changed icon shapes. Fixed cohesion issues with Contacts menu.” Excuse me but where’s the content drop? Where’s the feature update? Nobody aside from design fetishists lies awake at night praying for pill-shaped UI boundaries. It’s like logging into an MMORPG after a 6 GB patch and realizing the developers just changed NPC shop button icons and called it a “Seasonal Update.”
Doctor’s Orders
As a medical man, let me provide a diagnosis: Google is suffering from acute “Form Over Function Syndrome.” Symptoms include hyped “design refreshes” that add little tangible improvement, spreading across apps like a rash of rounded corners. Prescribed treatment? Functional features, not cosmetic ointment. The prognosis? Chronic repetition until the next keynote event where material design minimalism gets repackaged yet again, like reheated hospital food masquerading as dinner.
Final Words
So, what’s the verdict? The Material 3 Expressive update isn’t bad, but let’s not kid ourselves into praising it as if it’s a major tech milestone. It’s just another coat of paint over the same boring walls. A step forward, yes, but more like an awkward shuffle during a cutscene than a decisive leap forward in innovation. Essential? Hardly. Welcome? Sure, if you like your UI like a bowl of smooth edgeless M&Ms.
Let’s be honest: this is just the same Google Contacts you already had… but pill-shaped.
My final take? This update is tolerable at best, underwhelming at worst, and absolutely not deserving of a marketing event or headline boasting about “expressiveness.” A feature update disguised as a fashion statement is still nothing more than a fresh layer of lipstick on the same old pig.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is entirely my opinion.
Material 3 Expressive brings a fresh new look to Google Contacts, https://www.androidpolice.com/google-contacts-material-3-expressive-update/
