Rematch Crossplay Is Dead On Arrival Until August-The Ultimate Platform Divide
Hello everyone. Today we’re going to talk about Rematch, yet another attempt to mash soccer into the digital gladiatorial arena of gaming, this time courtesy of Sloclap. Yes, the same Sloclap who, in their infinite wisdom, apparently decided that the world really needed another chaotic, arcade-style soccer knockoff. Brilliant. Because heaven forbid we don’t have our daily dose of neon-pumped, physics-flinging mini-Ronaldo simulators. But let’s get to the glaring headline here – crossplay doesn’t exist yet. Yep, it’s soccer, but only with half the pitch open and half your mates locked out in the cold.
The Big Crossplay Carrot
The core issue here is timing. Nobody asked for “crossplay, someday later, pinky promise.” They asked, “Can I play with my friends across platforms now?” The answer: No. Not today, not this week, not even this month. Instead, Sloclap has magnanimously graced us with the knowledge that it will arrive “by the end of August with Patch 3.” That’s like walking into your doctor’s office with a broken arm and hearing, “We’ll slap that cast on by summer, mate. Just wiggle it gently until then.”
“Patch 3 will introduce Crossplay, at last.”
“At last,” indeed. As if keeping basic modern functionality hostage is some noble crusade. This isn’t pioneering. This isn’t revolutionary. This is table stakes. Crossplay in 2024 is like washing your hands before performing surgery-non-negotiable unless you really want your patient (or player base) to rot.
Arcade Glory or Short-Lived Flash?
Now, to be fair, Rematch does capture the essence of chaotic fun: colorful matches, high-speed action, and the undeniably addictive thrill of smashing a glowing ball into your opponent’s metaphorical teeth. It borrows Rocket League’s frenetic DNA, runs it through a blender, and pours out something playable, though alarmingly familiar. If you’ve played a frenetic online soccer-adjacent game in the last decade, you’ve basically played this.
But the problem-like a dodgy FIFA referee-is consistency. You want me to invest time in this game, recruit my pals, hype it up? Excellent. Except half of them are on Xbox, half on PlayStation, someone on PC, and the whole gang gets split like a clinical fracture. That’s not just mildly annoying-it alienates your player base faster than a 1 HP squad mate running headfirst into a raid boss.
Promises, Promises
Sloclap assures us crossplay is their “highest priority.” Well, I should hope so. What’s the alternative? More emotes? A premium battle pass that unlocks multicolored socks? Let’s not pretend that fixing the baseline functionality is some altruistic gift-they’re simply delivering what should have shipped in the first place. Picture a surgeon proudly announcing mid-operation: “Good news! We’ve decided not to leave the scalpel inside the patient this time. That’s our highest priority going forward.” How heroic.
Gaming Conspiracy Theory Corner
Let’s be honest: The “Patch 3” excuse reeks of industry theater. Call me conspiratorial, but doesn’t it feel suspiciously like crossplay was ready but locked behind a “keep ‘em waiting” strategy? After all, nothing keeps players attentive like that dangling carrot of functionality that should have been day-one. Classic engagement tactic-or just corporate procrastination?
The Reality Today
- Crossplay: Not available yet (coming maybe by August, if the stars align and Mercury leaves retrograde).
- Current Platforms: PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X/S, and Windows PC. Enjoy them separately in their little isolated silos.
- Gameplay: Energetic, chaotic, arcade-style soccer fun. If you like Rocket League, this is more of the same-minus actual innovation.
Final Diagnosis
Rematch is a flashy, entertaining experiment that could easily become a staple in casual gaming circles if crossplay doesn’t become the Achilles’ heel that snaps it in two. Right now, it’s fun but fractured, like a shinbone after a particularly nasty tackle. Sloclap promises we’ll all be running on the same pitch by late August, but until then, you’ll be stuck forming platform-exclusive cliques that feel about as welcoming as a LAN party in 2004.
Bottom line? The game itself is good-colorful, lively, and suitably chaotic-but I can’t give a wholehearted endorsement until crossplay materializes. You don’t launch a car missing its wheels and then promise customers that tires will be delivered in “Patch 3.” And yet, here we are.
Verdict: Fun gameplay undermined by missing essential features. Worth watching, not worth diving headlong into unless you and your friends all happen to own the same hardware. In other words: crossplay or bust.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is entirely my opinion.
Here’s When Rematch Will Finally Get Crossplay, kotaku.com article.
