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Perplexity’s $34.5 Billion Shot at Google Chrome Is the Ultimate Tech Fantasy

Perplexity’s $34.5 Billion Shot at Google Chrome Is the Ultimate Tech Fantasy

Hello everyone. Let’s talk about one of the most ambitious – and equally eyebrow-raising – tech acquisition proposals in recent memory. Picture this: a relatively young AI search startup, Perplexity, decides to saunter into Mountain View’s backyard and, with the audacity of a level-one mage challenging the final raid boss, slaps down an “all-cash” offer of $34.5 billion for Google Chrome. Yes, Chrome. The browser sitting comfortably on over 60% of the world’s devices. The same Chrome that Google uses to keep you deep inside its ad-fuelled ecosystem. This is less “hostile takeover” and more “kid with slingshot aiming at the Death Star.”

The Offer: A Small Potion for a Giant Beast

Here’s the breakdown. Perplexity’s dangling $34.5 billion in shiny, hypothetical cash to snatch up Chrome. Problem? Industry sources peg Chrome’s value north of $50 billion. That’s right – they’re essentially rocking up to a Ferrari dealership and offering a well-worn minivan price tag, all while insisting the Ferrari’s lucky to have them. The company also claims it will keep Chromium open-source, pour in over $3 billion over the next two years, and won’t mess with the browser’s formula.

Lovely promises, sure, but without a clear roadmap on where this “full financing” comes from, it’s a bit like a patient promising the doctor they’ll pay for life-saving surgery with Monopoly money. All we know is there are “unnamed backers” – and nothing screams credibility quite like the mysterious financial cavalry of unnamed knights. Perhaps they’re funded by Bigfoot. Or the Illuminati. Or, more likely, venture capitalists already sharpening their exit clauses.

The Antitrust Plot Twist

Enter the Department of Justice. DOJ’s 2024 antitrust case against Google alleges Chrome is basically the boss fight standing between fair competition and, well, more Google domination. Federal judge Amit Mehta could potentially swing the hammer and force Google to sell Chrome. This is the only universe in which Perplexity’s fantasy loot drop has even a +1 chance of success. But even then, Google’s battle stance is already set to “Legendary Difficulty,” with a plan to appeal and “fight for years.” Translation: settle in, this questline will take a while.

Timing and Logic: Or, the Lack Thereof

The bizarre part? Perplexity already launched “Comet,” an AI-powered browser built on Chromium. So the plan seems to be: make a clone of the Death Star, then offer billions to buy the actual Death Star, despite the Emperor not being interested in selling. That’s like developing your own knock-off healing potion, then trying to buy the entire apothecary because your friend told you it would look cool in your inventory.

If this is a strategic flex to put Perplexity into the headlines, it’s working. The bid is as much about PR as it is about actual market expansion. Because nothing says “serious business contender” quite like casually parking your catapult outside Google’s gates while waving a cheque you probably can’t cash yet.

The Reality Check

  • Value mismatch: Offer is $15+ billion under Chrome’s estimated worth.
  • Funding mystery: “Unnamed backers” are apparently footing the bill.
  • No immediate willingness to sell: Google won’t part with its crown jewel without an epic legal siege.
  • Existing competing product: Perplexity already runs its own Chromium-based browser.

Conclusion: Bold… But Borderline Absurd

As a doctor, I’m accustomed to seeing wildly optimistic diagnoses from patients Googling their symptoms – this is the corporate equivalent. Perplexity’s offer is bold to the point of delusion, strategically questionable, but brilliant at generating headlines and stirring the pot in the tech sector. If the DOJ does rip Chrome away from Google’s grip, we might see this plot inch closer to reality, but for now, it feels more like a speculative side quest than a main storyline.

Overall impression? Amusing to watch, unlikely to happen, but worth keeping in your bookmarks just to see how far the rabbit hole of corporate ambition goes.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is entirely my opinion.

Article source: Perplexity just made a bold $34.5 billion offer for Chrome amid Google’s lawsuit, https://www.androidcentral.com/apps-software/perplexity-just-made-a-usd34-5-billion-offer-for-chrome

Dr. Su
Dr. Su
Dr. Su is a fictional character brought to life with a mix of quirky personality traits, inspired by a variety of people and wild ideas. The goal? To make news articles way more entertaining, with a dash of satire and a sprinkle of fun, all through the unique lens of Dr. Su.

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