Trump’s Self-Congratulatory Peace Deal: A Corridor, a Crown, and a Nobel Fantasy

Hello everyone. Let’s dive straight into this freshly served political theatre piece – the “historic” peace accord between Armenia and Azerbaijan, cooked up in Washington under the proud banner of Donald Trump’s personal brand of diplomacy. Or as he’d rather we call it: “The Trump Show: Foreign Policy Edition.”

The Setup: Decades of Conflict, Fixed Over Coffee?

For decades, Armenia and Azerbaijan have been entangled in a bitter territorial feud over Nagorno-Karabakh – a region that’s caused enough human misery to fill entire encyclopedias of geopolitical tragedy. Now, apparently, all it took to “solve” it was to gather everyone in Washington, slap some signatures on paper, and add Trump’s name to something. Voilà – peace on earth. Right? If only diplomacy worked like a speedrun of a Civilization game: spam diplomacy options, bribe with trade deals, grin for the end credits.

The main players: Azerbaijani President Ilham Aliyev, Armenian Prime Minister Nikol Pashinyan, and, of course, Donald “Summit Historic” Trump. Both leaders reportedly signed a separate bilateral deal with the United States before joining hands in agreement. Translation: yes, there’s a peace accord, but also something shiny and strategic for Uncle Sam lurking under the hood.

The Corridor with the Worst Marketing Name Imaginable

Armenia is, as part of this grand “Prosperity for All” spectacle, allowing the development of a 43-kilometre corridor. And because nothing in Trump’s world is complete without a giant gold-plated name tag, it’s called the “Trump International Pathway to Peace and Prosperity” – abbreviated to TRIPP. You can’t make this up. A corridor linking Azerbaijani territory through Armenia is exactly the sort of geopolitical hairball Erevan has always coughed back up. If this is victory, it comes with a suspicious aroma of “we just gave away what we always said we’d protect.”

A White House official referred to the United States as “the most crucial partner in the world” Armenia is gaining here. Let’s skip the subtlety – that’s the diplomatic equivalent of a dodgy used-car salesman telling you he’s “cutting you the deal of a lifetime” while quietly removing the tires from your trade-in.

Oil, Gas, and the Invisible Handshake

Of course, no modern peace accord is complete without energy deals lurking in the shadows. Cue an agreement between Azerbaijan’s state oil company SOCAR and ExxonMobil. Yes, I can hear Captain Obvious announcing from the corner: “Energy partnerships will bring long-term cooperation!” Right, and also pad a few balance sheets. You can’t just solve territorial disputes; you’ve got to make sure someone’s drilling something somewhere for maximum prosperity.

History Lesson: The Karabakh Wound

Let’s remember: Nagorno-Karabakh was controlled by Armenian separatists for over 30 years. Azerbaijan reclaimed it through force in 2020 and again in 2023, which triggered a massive exodus of ethnic Armenians. For many in Armenia, losing Karabakh – or “Artsakh” – is like having your most treasured artifact snatched mid-boss fight. And now, to make peace, Armenia’s being asked to rewrite its constitution to officially say, “Yeah, we’re never getting that back.”

Tripartite Hugs and a Nobel Dream

Pashinyan says he’s onboard – for the sake of “peace, prosperity, and cooperation.” He’s even planning a referendum in 2027 to seal the constitutional changes. That’s right: we’re scheduling a democratic confirmation of surrender several years from now. Nothing says “stable” like betting on future voters not to flip the board at the last minute.

Meanwhile, in true self-promoter fashion, Trump is already eyeing a Nobel Peace Prize. His spokesperson claims his name’s been proposed by leaders from Cambodia, Pakistan, and Israel. With that trio of endorsements, what could possibly go wrong?

MD’s Prescription: Name it Less, Do it More

Here’s my diagnosis as your political doctor: the patient (this peace deal) presents with early symptoms of chronic self-congratulation, probable overbranding syndrome, and an underlying case of opportunistic resource extraction. Prognosis: likely to limp along unless one of the involved parties decides their loot chest wasn’t as full as promised.

Final Verdict

This accord might reduce the shooting for a while. But calling it a decisive cure for decades-long tensions? That’s like announcing you’ve beaten the final boss when you’ve just cleared the tutorial. There’s still the matter of mistrust, humiliation, and historical grudges – which no corridor, even one with Trump’s name plastered all over, can magic away.

Overall impression: Bad. Because while peace is worth celebrating, this smells more like a trophy hunt than a selfless diplomatic breakthrough. And the moment the economic or political benefits waver, expect the same old sandbox war to reload from its last save point.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is entirely my opinion.

Article source: Trump au cœur d’un accord de paix entre l’Arménie et l’Azerbaïdjan, https://www.liberation.fr/international/trump-au-coeur-dun-accord-de-paix-entre-larmenie-et-lazerbaidjan-20250809_SEQQZ4XMCJGL7EA26C7XJY6E3U/