Senators Are Destroying Internet Freedom with the Block BEARD Act-No Exceptions Allowed

Hello everyone. Ah yes, the latest chapter in the grand saga of “pretend we’re saving the internet while quietly slicing away chunks of it like a drunk chef preparing sushi.” The United States Senate, in what I can only assume is an attempt to score political achievements you can slap on a campaign flyer, has introduced yet another site-blocking bill. This one’s called the Block BEARD Act – and no, it doesn’t involve grooming tips or Viking cosplay. The full name is “Block Bad Electronic Art and Recording Distributors,” which already reeks of being named by a committee that thought “cool acronym first, rationale later.”

What the Bill Proposes

Here’s the gist: copyright holders can go to a federal court, point at a site hosted abroad, scream “pirate!” and potentially get ISPs to block it. It’s bipartisan too – because when there’s a chance to play internet sheriff, party lines vanish faster than your download speeds on hotel Wi-Fi. Big names onboard include Thom Tillis, Chris Coons, Marsha Blackburn, and Adam Schiff. The idea is to safeguard creators and consumers from these “foreign criminal enterprises.” Right. Just like a disinfectant that “kills 99.9% of germs,” except here the .1% happens to be everyone who knows how to use a VPN.

The Mechanics of the Madness

Let’s translate the legalese. If a court declares a site a “foreign piracy site,” ISPs will then be legally obliged to block it in the US. The accused site can fight back, but good luck doing that if you’re a small site on the other side of the planet. And as history has already taught us through glorious failures like SOPA and PIPA, this kind of blunt instrument approach is dangerously overbroad. Sure, a pirate ship gets sunk – but the torpedo also wipes out a cruise liner full of legitimate content, all because they shared the same hosting provider. Collateral damage? Oh, just freedom of access to information. No big deal.

EFF’s Take – And the Reality Check

The Electronic Frontier Foundation – the white blood cells of the internet’s immune system – is unsurprisingly waving the red flag. They remind us that this is “dangerous, unnecessary, and ineffective,” because anyone remotely clued in can just swap domains like changing socks, or fire up a VPN and happily skip over the digital blockade. It’s the legislative equivalent of playing Whac‑A‑Mole blindfolded while the moles build their own tunnels underneath you. And your hammer? Yeah, it’s connected to an online service agreement written in crayon.

The Political Theatre

Let’s be real – the political theatre here is the main show. Passing a law like this lets senators look tough on “foreign threats” and “intellectual property theft” while ignoring the fact that enforcement is a leaky sieve. And it keeps Hollywood, the RIAA, and assorted special interests nodding approvingly. In gaming terms, this is like buffing the stats of your favorite class not because it balances the game, but because your guild leader owns the company.

Medical Analogy Time

As a doctor – humor me here – this bill is the legislative equivalent of amputating the entire leg because the big toe had a mild infection. Sure, you’ve “solved” the toe problem, but the patient now can’t walk and is bleeding out. It’s reactionary, blunt, and ignores simpler, targeted remedies. Just treat the infection. Or in this case, target bad actors without nuking innocent bystanders off the internet.

The Conspiracy Flavor

If you want to put on your tinfoil hat for a moment, there’s an argument to be made that these bills keep getting resurrected because someone, somewhere, would rather have a precedent for controlling internet access in the chamber, ready to be repurposed for… other uses. Today pirates, tomorrow dissidents, the day after… memes critical of the government? Slippery slopes have a bad habit of turning into rapid descents.

Final Verdict

This bill is bad news. Not because protecting creators is a terrible goal, but because this is like using a medieval trebuchet to swat a fly in your kitchen. It’s antique thinking shoved into a modern problem, wasteful, clumsy, and ultimately ineffective. The Block BEARD Act offers feel-good optics for politicians and industry lobbyists, while the real pirates sail merrily on – hidden behind a fresh domain name and a VPN login screen. In the meantime, the open internet takes the hit, again. Overall impression? Bad. So bad it should be blocked under its own law.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is entirely my opinion.

Article source: Senators are trying to force ISPs to block all foreign pirate sites, https://www.theverge.com/news/754987/senators-foreign-piracy-sites-block-beard-act