North Korea’s Loudspeaker Drama: More Noise Than Signal
Hello everyone. Let’s talk about the bizarre diplomatic soap opera that is the Korean Peninsula’s never-ending loudspeaker saga. This week’s episode? North Korea swears it never removed those propaganda-spewing monstrosities straddling the border. In other words: “What speakers? We didn’t touch any speakers! But even if we did, you’d never catch us admitting it.” It’s about as convincing as a politician insisting they “accidentally” liked something on Twitter.
The Official Word from Pyongyang
Kim Yo Jong – yes, that Kim Yo Jong, the sister of the man himself and North Korea’s unofficial Minister of Petty Statements – decided to chime in. In a speech that could best be summarised as sharp diplomatic trolling, she declared that not only has North Korea “never removed” its border loudspeakers, but it has “no will to improve relations” with South Korea. In case the point wasn’t clear enough, she doubled down by suggesting this hostility might even be enshrined in their constitution. Ah yes, a constitutional amendment for eternal passive-aggressive neighbour relations. Truly revolutionary governance.
The South Korean Claim – And the Counterpunch
Earlier in the week, South Korea’s military casually announced that the North had removed some propaganda speakers – this after Seoul dismantled a few of its own in what they clearly hoped would be a handshake across the world’s tensest border. North Korea immediately fired back, dismissing the claim as “unfounded” and a “red herring.” For context, ‘red herring’ here translates to “You caught us doing something, so we’re going to pretend it never happened and accuse you of making it up.” Classic Cold War playbook, retro edition.
Sonic Warfare: EDM vs. Animal Noises
Let’s not forget – these are not ordinary loudspeakers. South Korea serenades the North with motivational messages and K-pop bangers, while the North responds with unsettling howls and animal noises, because apparently someone in Pyongyang’s propaganda department has fond memories of Resident Evil’s sound design. For border residents, this amounts to an involuntary all-night music festival from hell. Forget insomnia cure – this is insomnia weaponised.
From Balloons to Bluster: The Recent History
Things escalated earlier this year when the North began sending balloons filled with rubbish – yes, literal refuse – across the border. In response, then-president Yoon Suk Yeol restarted the speaker broadcasts after a six-year hiatus, doubling down like a gamer choosing the nuclear option in the game’s first tutorial mission. When Lee Jae Myung took over, his softer political DLC was all about boosting inter-Korean relations, so he immediately pulled the plug on the noise barrage to “restore trust.” Spoiler: trust wasn’t restored.
Future Patch Notes: Constitutional Hostility
So here we are – yet another round of “He said, she said, and nobody deleted the speakers.” The idea of formalising permanent hostility in the constitution is both depressingly on-brand and exactly the kind of endgame quest you’d expect from a regime that treats international diplomacy like trolling in an MMO. Meanwhile, military exercises between South Korea and the US loom large, and the North has already threatened “resolute counteraction,” which – translated into gamer terms – means they’re about to aggro the entire map again.
Verdict
What’s the takeaway? This entire loudspeaker issue is political theatre at max volume. Neither side wants to look like they’re blinking first, so the people living nearby get treated to nightly battles of BTS versus banshee shrieks. Geopolitically, nothing changes except the pitch and rhythm of the noise. If your foreign policy plan involves literal howling animals, you might need a patch update to your diplomacy skill tree – and maybe, just maybe, uninstall the whole system. For now, this saga gets a big red “bad” on my chart – all hype, no progress, and ear damage as a bonus.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is entirely my opinion.
Article source: N Korea denies removing propaganda loudspeakers at border, https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cn927xyv7l7o
