Coup-ception in Mali: When the Overthrowers Start Getting Overthrown
Hello everyone. Grab your popcorn, sharpen your sarcasm detectors, and for the love of all that’s holy, let’s talk about Mali – the West African nation that has apparently decided that political stability is some sort of forbidden dark magic. And yes, this is a nation whose ruling junta came to power by ousting the previous rulers… who themselves weren’t exactly crowned by a popular Disney ending. Now, the very same military bosses are in a frantic panic because – gasp – soldiers have been plotting to overthrow them. How utterly shocking that the ‘coup people’ might face… another coup. It’s like game developers shocked that gamers exploit bugs: “We never saw this coming!” Sure, mate.
The Great Arrest-a-Thon
In the past three days, the Malian junta has gone full “ban hammer” on its own troops. At least 20 – or 50 depending whose numbers you believe – soldiers have been rounded up. Leading the headlines is General Abass Dembele, a man once considered a respected military figure and regional governor, who was pulled out of his Sunday morning like someone alt-tabbing out of a relaxing game of Stardew Valley only to be dropped straight into a round of DOOM Eternal – on nightmare difficulty. No charges stated, no explanations, just the ominous knock on the door. Because transparency? That’s for weaklings, not power-hoarding generals.
From Hero to Villain… to Villain Again
The irony here is breathtaking – in a clinically fascinating, aneurysm-inducing way. These are the same folks who stormed the palace in not one, but two coups in 2020 and 2021. They justified it with the grand narrative of “saving Mali” from corruption, terrorism, and – my personal favorite – the evil grip of the French. Fast forward, and now they’re beating the same “enemies of the state” drum but pointing it inward at their own ranks. It’s like watching your raid group implode because the raid leader kicked half the healers to make room for overpriced NPC mercenaries. Speaking of…
The Wagner Factor
Mali traded its traditional “French DLC” for the Russian expansion pack, complete with Wagner mercenaries – now rebranded under the slightly less ominous “Africa Corps.” These imported fighters have been helping battle jihadists… if by “helping” you mean racking up allegations of civilian massacres and stomping around like they own the place. And unsurprisingly, certain Malian soldiers are a bit testy about high-priced Russian contractors getting preferential treatment while they themselves get shoved into the expendable NPC category. Internal grumbling? Try full-on mutiny fuel.
Meanwhile, in the Bigger Picture…
Let’s be clear: Mali has been spiraling since 2012. This isn’t just a case of a few bad rolls on the diplomacy dice. Islamic State and Al-Qaeda affiliates roam the countryside like overpowered raid bosses, crime and sectarian violence are common spawns, and the economy’s HP bar is somewhere below “critical condition.” The junta’s grand strategy of swapping alliances like you’d swap out a broken gaming keyboard has not exactly inspired confidence. Add in a lovely little legislative change that allows General Assimi Goita to serve five-year presidential terms, renewable indefinitely without elections, and you have exactly the kind of ‘demo of democracy’ no sane player would buy.
Diagnosis: Chronic Coup Disorder
From a medical standpoint – and speaking as a doctor in sarcasm and political post-mortems – Mali’s governance has all the hallmarks of Chronic Coup Disorder (CCD™). Symptoms include: initial adrenaline-fueled popularity boosts, rapid onset authoritarianism, unexplained disappearances of opponents, foreign mercenary infestations, and recurring instability in high-ranking leadership positions. Prognosis? Without a serious treatment plan involving actual governance reforms, CCD is both incurable and contagious. Watch out, neighborhood nations.
Final Verdict
Let’s strip it down to basics: the coup leaders are shocked – shocked! – that in a system built by mutiny, mutiny reappeares like clockwork. And their solution? More arrests, fewer freedoms, and doubling down on the mercs. If this were a game patch, I’d say they nerfed the wrong class. My overall impression? Bad. Long-term? Worse. Enjoy the never-ending political boss fight, Mali – you coded it yourselves.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is entirely my opinion.
Article source: Mali arrests dozens of soldiers over alleged bid to topple junta, https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/mali-arrests-dozens-soldiers-over-172035233.html
