‘The Batman Part II’ Will Absolutely Shatter Your Bat-Expectations by Adding Robin

Hello everyone. Today we’ve got ourselves a multi-course tasting menu straight from the Hollywood fever dream – a bizarre combo platter of gritty sequels, high-minded reimaginings, streaming graveyards, and a horror movie narrated by a dog. Yes, you read that right. Strap in, because this spread is trying desperately to be the pop culture equivalent of a Michelin-starred feast, but some of it tastes like it came from the back of a gas station fridge.

The Batman, Part II – Enter the Boy Wonder

According to Jeff Sneider’s latest scoop, Matt Reeves is throwing Robin into the mix for the sequel to his moody, rain-slicked The Batman. The script is apparently a “big swing,” which sounds exciting right up until you remember that big swings also result in spectacular misses. As a doctor, I’m compelled to note that whiplash is a real risk here – Reeves’ first film was an overlong noir cosplay, so we’ll see if adding a teenage sidekick turns it into high drama or just BatDad babysitting. In gaming terms, we might be adding an escort mission to an already overly padded campaign. God help us all if Robin has hit points we need to micro-manage.

Radu Jude’s Frankenstein – CIA Black Site Edition

Now here’s a pitch I didn’t have on my bingo card: Sebastian Stan, locked into a Frankenstein story that begins in CIA black sites on Romanian soil. Radu Jude says he’s blending real history with the Frankenstein myth, which is either visionary brilliance or the cinematic equivalent of duct-taping two unrelated hobbies together and praying it looks intentional. As a man who’s diagnosed many strange cases over the years, I’d call this one “genre collision syndrome” – symptoms include confusion, intrigue, and the occasional critical aneurysm. I’m intrigued, but this could be the kind of “creative risk” the conspiracy theorists will pin to bulletin boards for decades.

The Boy in the Iron Box – Guillermo del Toro’s Next Oddity

So, del Toro and Chuck Hogan are making The Boy in the Iron Box, filming this October. No plot details in this teaser, so it’s basically the entertainment news version of a loot box – you have no idea what you’re getting, but you’re probably paying for it emotionally later. Given del Toro’s love of tragic monsters, expect something beautiful, unsettling, and art-directed to within an inch of its life.

The Hand That Rocks the Cradle – Disney+ Goes Creepy

The Hand That Rocks the Cradle remake is headed to Disney+ in October, starring Maika Monroe and Mary Elizabeth Winstead. Two talented leads, sure, but dropping it on Disney+ means it’ll probably be as sanitized as a hospital operating table – minus the life-saving urgency. At this point, the Mouse House seems intent on removing any actual cradle hazards that made the original deliciously disturbing.

The Black Phone 2 – Rated R and Wearing It Proudly

The sequel to The Black Phone has snagged an R rating for violence, gore, teen drug use, and language. In other words: Thank heaven, they didn’t neuter it for merch sales. It’s refreshing, like finding a fully stocked armor chest in-game that hasn’t been raided by the loot goblins yet. I’m hoping it doubles down on the creepy grit instead of turning into a safe, corporate-approved ghost ride.

Good Boy – Canine POV Horror

Yes, folks, a horror movie told entirely from the perspective of a dog. Called Good Boy. I adore dogs, but unless the pooch develops telepathy and quotes Lovecraft, I’m worried the novelty will wear off faster than you can say “fetch.” Still, if done right, this could be the first horror film where the jump scares involve vacuum cleaners and doorbells instead of masked maniacs.

Him – Peele Promises Terrifying Places

Jordan Peele is hyping up how horrifying Him will be, which is like telling me the ocean will be wet. The man’s carved out a nice niche of paranoia-laced nightmare fuel, and while I’m curious to see what “terrifying places” this one goes to, I hope it doesn’t just circle the same creepy cul-de-sacs as before. There’s a fine line between auteur consistency and self-recycling.

Goosebumps – Send It to the Streaming Graveyard

Two seasons in, Disney+ yanked Goosebumps off life support. Can’t say I’m shocked – even in the horror genre, the scariest thing these days is surviving on a streaming service’s algorithm. Somewhere, a boardroom of executives is patting themselves on the back for “moving on to better IP synergies,” which is corporate speak for “we have no idea what we’re doing.”

Outlander: Blood of My Blood – Fan Service and Soap Opera

Starz is rolling out clips for the prequel Outlander: Blood of My Blood. Expect period drama, yearning stares, and more florid speech than a Shakespeare speedrun. Fans will eat it up; everyone else will feel like they’ve wandered into a Renaissance fair with an unusually high budget.

Final Diagnosis

Overall, this week’s movie news buffet contains a few deliciously weird dishes (CIA Frankenstein, R-rated Black Phone 2), some reheated leftovers (The Hand That Rocks the Cradle remake, Goosebumps cancellation), and a novelty dessert in the form of a dog’s-eye-view horror flick. We’re not in full cinematic malpractice territory, but the patient will require observation and possibly an adrenaline shot if The Batman 2 turns into Bat-and-Snark sitcom territory. My prognosis: a mixed bag, trending towards optimistic chaos.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is entirely my opinion.

Source: ‘The Batman Part II’ May Be Adding a New Member of the Bat-Family, https://gizmodo.com/batman-part-2-matt-reeves-robin-dc-2000640499