Dead Above Is The Absolute Worst Zombie Survival Experience You’ll Ever Endure

Hello everyone. Let’s take a walk through the brain-munching swampland of indie game design, where apparently the best idea someone had for “fun zombie shooter” boils down to making me feel busier than a medical resident on a double shift. Yes, the game is called Dead Above, and by the description alone it sounds less like a thrilling apocalyptic survival ride and more like an unpaid internship in apocalypse management. Prepare yourself, because this one is going to sting worse than a botched IV line.

The Premise – A Diet Version of the Apocalypse

So, here’s the sales pitch: You’re stuck underground because the surface is zombie-barf central. Your one ticket back to the world up top? An abandoned mine elevator. And naturally every corpse with half a jaw and zero personality is hell-bent on smashing it to bits. So your job is to build defenses, collect ore with an axe like some sort of post-apocalyptic coal miner cosplayer, and shoot things until they stop flailing. That’s it. Riveting, isn’t it? I’ve had root canal descriptions that sounded more exciting.

Gameplay Features – A Long Grocery List of Mediocrity

• Top-down shooting: The “simplest” shooting mode. Translation: The kind of gameplay you settle for when your dev team’s budget can’t afford more than two camera angles.
• Defense & Survival: “You may not be able to hold on for long.” Ah, refreshing honesty from the marketing team-basically admitting their balance is a dumpster fire.
• Zombies & Monsters: First you fight zombies, then “who knows what ghosts and monsters will come later.” Translation: We couldn’t think of enemy types yet but stay tuned for placeholder nightmares.
• Ore Collection: Chop rocks with an axe, because apparently guns don’t multitask. Expect long evenings of staring at grey walls while pressing “E.” It’s the Minecraft survival grind but with substantially less charm.
• Sandbox construction: Build your underground empire… except it sounds like you’re organizing cubicles rather than building monstrous death forts. “Research oriented,” “functional,” “defensive.” Wake me when this isn’t a Microsoft Excel simulator with guns.
• Development: “There is no concept of hierarchy.” I assume that means skill trees are replaced with random stat buffet, which screams “we couldn’t figure out progression properly.”
• Weapon Manufacturing: Craft shiny things, carry four of them, and smash the rest with your axe. Which, apparently, is your Swiss Army utensil of post-apocalyptic life.
• Teammate Injury: Your friends hurt you more than zombies do. This I believe-because nothing says riveting gameplay like being punished for your AI’s chronic stupidity.

To summarize: It feels like they made a bullet-point PowerPoint on “How to Assemble Ten Generic Survival Mechanics” and shoved it into code. The flavor text even comes with disclaimers that Dead Above is “tiring to play and busier than your real life.” Imagine selling your game with a health warning that it might feel worse than your 9-to-5. Thanks for the honesty, doc, but no thanks.

System Requirements – Surprisingly Reasonable

For once, something that doesn’t make my ears bleed. Minimum specs are an old i5 and a GTX 750 Ti-a card that was already coughing by 2015. Recommended doesn’t break the bank either. So at least I can console myself knowing that if I do want to waste my time here, I can do so on a toaster with a pulse.

Final Diagnosis

As a doctor, I’d compare Dead Above to a patient with stable vitals but an utterly lifeless personality. It’s breathing. It’s functioning. But by god, the man has all the charisma of a wet paper towel. As a gamer, I’d say it reeks of another cookie-cutter zombie defense ordeal with just enough resource management to make you want to uninstall from sheer boredom. And as a conspiracy-theory enjoyer, I’d swear this game is a plot designed by the undead themselves: distract humans with meaningless busywork as they shuffle toward victory.

Overall impression? This is a bad one, folks. Avoid unless your idea of entertainment is grinding ore while listening to elevator muzak with zombies pounding in the background.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is entirely my opinion.

Article source: Dead Above