These Exes Are Weaponizing Memoirs Like Ultimate Clapbacks
Hello everyone. Today, we’re diving into the riveting literary battlefield of-wait for it-dueling self-help memoirs born out of a six-month marriage that ended faster than a speedrun in Doom on god mode. Yes, I know, you can’t make this stuff up… unless you were deliberately trying to write the world’s most melodramatic side quest.
The Premise: Emotional DLCs in Book Form
We’ve got actor Lukas Gage on one side, ready to drop his upcoming magnum opus, “I Wrote This For Attention” in October. Subtlety clearly didn’t make it past the draft phase of that title. On the other side, his freshly ex-husband, celebrity hairstylist Chris Appleton, who tends the Kardashian manes, will release his own book, “Your Roots Don’t Define You” in January-exactly three months later. Just enough time for people to finish the first memoir, roll their eyes, and then begrudgingly pick up the ‘spiritual sequel.’
Coincidence? Oh, Please…
When paparazzi cornered Lukas outside DOGPOUND Gym in West Hollywood, they asked whether the perfectly timed release dates had anything to do with each other. Lukas responded like a pro gamer feigning ignorance when caught glitching on stream-claiming he didn’t know, then tossing in a perfectly weighted sarcastic “honored” to be so “influential.” He even called the timing “coincidental,” which, by the way, is the PR equivalent of “the dog ate my homework.” No one’s buying it-it smells about as authentic as a $5 loot box skin.
The Backstory: Divorce Speedrun
These two got married in November 2023, speedrunning straight to divorce in under six months. June 2024 rolled around, lawyers did their work, and the relationship was sent to the great respawn checkpoint in the sky. No word yet on whether Chris’ memoir will include side quests featuring Lukas by name, but let’s face it-if you’ve got the opportunity to sprinkle in some spicy NPC dialogue, why wouldn’t you?
Strategic Publishing or Petty Power Play?
Sources say Lukas’ camp isn’t too thrilled about Chris’ January release date. Shocking, I know. In the chess game of post-relationship PR-and make no mistake, these memoir drops are post-breakup boss fights-timing is the blunt weapon of choice. Honestly, if this were an MMO, Lukas just took the high ground in October, and Chris is showing up in January with a barely upgraded longsword hoping the respawn timer works in his favor.
Final Assessment
This whole saga reads like an over-scripted reality TV plotline that accidentally got funneled into the publishing industry. A pair of “self-help” memoirs arriving within a quarter of each other from freshly divorced exes? That’s not healing, that’s monetizing unresolved emotional PvP. Whether these books will actually help anyone other than their respective bank accounts remains to be seen, but credit where credit’s due-they’ve turned a personal implosion into a marketing plan.
Verdict? Entertaining for all the wrong reasons. Neither of these books screams literary salvation, but as a spectacle, it’s a guilty pleasure worth tracking-like watching two players in a battle royale drop in the exact same zone and pretend they’re surprised by the encounter.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is entirely my opinion.
Article Source: Lukas Gage Shades Chris Appleton in Exes’ Book Battle, https://www.tmz.com/2025/08/11/lukas-gage-reacts-ex-husband-chris-appleton-book/
