These 22 Films Would Be Absolute Garbage Without Their Soundtracks – No Exceptions

Hello everyone. Today we’re diving into that ever-treasured, over-romanticized cinematic topic: soundtracks. Yes, that thing directors pretend is “incidental” when it’s actually the emotional equivalent of strapping smelling salts to your face during a coma. Without these, half of Hollywood’s sacred cows would collapse faster than a Jenga tower in an earthquake.

The article kicks off with a sweeping generalization that music in film usually isn’t that important – which is the cinematic equivalent of saying spices don’t matter in cooking. Sure, technically you could serve people a plate of boiled chicken, but why would you hate humanity that much? Then, it pivots to the rare cases where the music is so meshed into the DNA of the story that without it, you might as well replace the drama with a 10-hour YouTube loop of dial-up noises.

They start with Me and Earl and the Dying Girl, noting how the Brian Eno soundtrack allegedly “killed” them emotionally. And yes, they even decided to pepper in a leukemia joke because, apparently, making light of mortal disease is the internet’s version of seasoning – reckless, but occasionally effective. Charming.

The Sacred List of Soundtrack-Dependent Films

• 22 – Dazed and Confused: Without its soundtrack, it’s just a bunch of denim-clad teens loitering. With it, it pretends to be about cultural nostalgia instead of public loitering.
• 21 – The Big Lebowski: Without Dylan’s ‘The Man in Me’ and Kenny Rogers, you have two hours of bowling and mumbling.
• 20 – Forrest Gump: Remove the era-defining music and you’re forced to confront how ridiculous Forrest’s life story is without the warm blanket of nostalgia.
• 19 – Harry Potter: John Williams pretty much waved his baton and said “Wingardium Leviosa” on the entire childhood of a generation.
• 18 – Romeo + Juliet: Baz Luhrmann turned Shakespeare into a pop video. Without its music, it’s just flash cuts and teenagers pointing guns at each other.
• 17 – The Social Network: Trent Reznor’s score makes watching Harvard nerds sue each other feel like a techno-thriller. Without it, it’s corporate paperwork: The Movie.
• 16 – Tron: Legacy: Daft Punk carried this harder than a raid healer in World of Warcraft. Without them, it’s neon screensavers.
• 15 – Arrival: Hypnotic, eerie music amplifies a film about aliens that speak in coffee stains. Without it, it’s just a linguistics lecture.
• 14 – The Lion King: Elton John’s soundtrack is the only reason no one noticed it’s basically Hamlet but with more fur and fart jokes.
• 13 – The Lord of the Rings: Without Howard Shore, it would have felt like three films about hiking.
• 12 – The Martian: Disco music kept us from realizing it’s mostly about potatoes and loneliness.
• 11 – Guardians of the Galaxy: “Awesome Mix Vol. 1” sold you on the film before Chris Pratt even opened his mouth.
• 10 – The Breakfast Club: Without “Don’t You Forget About Me,” this is just an awkward detention in real time.
• 9 – Trainspotting: The music made heroin chic. Without it, the vomit scene would just smell worse.
• 8 – A Knight’s Tale: Queen, Bowie, and anachronism all combine to trick your brain into thinking jousting is cool.
• 7 – Watchmen: Zack Snyder uses music like a sledgehammer on your emotions – subtlety is for lesser beings.
• 6 – Jaws: John Williams’ two-note motif proves minimalism works – you now fear swimming pools.
• 5 – Into the Wild: Eddie Vedder turns “guy abandons obligations” into “majestic quest of self-discovery.”
• 4 – 500 Days of Summer: Without the indie tunes, you’d focus on the fact Tom’s a bit of a stalker.
• 3 – Gladiator: Lisa Gerrard makes everything better. Seriously, her voice alone could make a tax audit feel epic.
• 2 – Garden State: Basically an infomercial for The Shins with bonus Natalie Portman.
• 1 – Suicide Squad: The film is an incoherent mess, but the soundtrack was a licensing department’s fever dream good enough to sell millions.

The Cold Hard Truth

Without their soundtracks, half these films would be exposed harder than a government cover-up on a conspiracy forum. Music is the scaffolding that holds the whole crumbling structure together. Yes, cinema is visual, but the second you strip out the tunes, you realize how many plots are held together with nothing but good lighting and nostalgia.

Final verdict? This was actually a decent list – not perfect, but solid. It reminds us that while directors and studios love to scream about “vision” and “story,” the truth is: music saves mediocre writing far more often than they’ll admit.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is entirely my opinion.

Article source: 22 Movies That Just Wouldn’t Be the Same Without Their Soundtracks, Cracked