This USB-C Lanyard Is the Weirdest Tech Accessory You’ll Actually Want
Hello everyone. Today we’re diving headfirst into one of those tech accessories that shouldn’t even exist on paper, yet somehow slithers its way onto the market – the Satechi OntheGo USB-C Lanyard cable. Yes, you heard correctly. It’s a lanyard. It’s a charger. It’s both. Like a tech-world chimera, it wants to drape itself around your neck and whisper, “I can do 60W fast charging.” The real question is – should we be impressed, or should we be calling in the exterminators?
The Concept: Novel Hybrid or Gadget Frankenbaby?
Let’s start with the basics. People are dropping thousands on shiny new devices but still pair them up with ancient, limp spaghetti cables that wouldn’t power a toaster. Logical? No. Common? Absolutely. Satechi spotted this reckless behaviour and thought, “What if your conference badge could also juice up your MacBook?” And thus, this braided, 1.5-meter-long, metal-capped mutant of a lanyard was born. 60W charging? Check. USB 2.0 data transfer? Check. A strong sense that this might be the tech equivalent of installing RGB lighting on your bathroom mirror? Also check.
Design: Practical Utility Meets Fashionable Awkwardness
Here’s where we apply the doctor’s metaphorical stethoscope. Imagine wearing two cords across your neck that double-back on themselves – a style choice somewhere between “undercover assassin” and “I lost a bet.” Extend the loops, pop the caps, and boom – your charging cable bursts free like a coiled snake. I’ll admit, it doesn’t look cheap. The braided cloth and aluminum trims are premium enough to fool people into thinking you shop at “The Apple Store for Neck Accessories.” But no, you can’t hang it on your bag without gravity making a mockery of your intentions. The cables are simply too thick, too heavy, and too stubborn.
Use Cases: A Narrow but Real Niche
Let’s not pretend this is for everyone. If you’re not already shackled to an ID badge 8 hours a day, your ROI on this thing is questionable. But for the office warriors, the event staff, or – heaven forbid – students forced into daily lanyard servitude, it’s oddly brilliant. You’re essentially carrying a hidden power upgrade right under your chin. If you’ve ever happened upon the tragic combo of a full laptop battery and a phone gasping its last digital breath, this could be your lifeline.
One reviewer is using it for a Tesla keycard. That’s… a choice. You could also use it as an improvised USB-C tether for data transfers, but considering it’s USB 2.0 only, don’t expect to be sprinting through high-res media dumps like you’re on fiber broadband in Neo-Tokyo. This cable is fine for the basics – not the esports league championship of file transfers.
The Value Check: Reasonable or Ridiculous?
$30. Not bad, actually. That’s what you’d spend on a decent 60W cable and a lanyard separately. Here, you’re paying for the gimmick, but the gimmick also works. It’s a rare case of a noveltacular accessory that isn’t priced in unicorn tears. Of course, $30 still buys quite a few feet of premium cabling that you could store literally anywhere that isn’t constricting your neck. But hey, if you like double-duty gadgets, this hits the sweet spot between practical and bizarre.
Final Diagnosis
As your attending physician in the ward of tech sanity, here’s my conclusion: the Satechi OntheGo USB-C Lanyard is that rare patient who walks into the ER with something lodged in their neck, but by the end of triage, you realise – miracle of miracles – it’s actually helping them live. It’s niche. It’s slightly absurd. But it works well enough that I can’t summon the same disgust I reserve for, say, gold-plated HDMI cables or smartphone screen protectors sold in gas stations.
If you wear a lanyard daily, it’s worth considering. If not, I’d prescribe you stick to a regular cable and spare yourself the fashion statement. Overall impression? Good… for the very small audience it’s intended for. For everyone else – it’s a curiosity you’ll read about, chuckle over, and never buy.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is entirely my opinion.
Article source: I tried a lanyard that’s also a USB-C cable, and it’s my favorite Android gadget
