Heart of Ice Is the Absolute Worst “Gamebook” You’ll Ever Pretend to Play
Hello everyone. Strap yourselves in, grab your hot cocoa, and prepare for frostbite, because today we’re diving headfirst into something calling itself a “video game” – Heart of Ice by Dave Morris. And yes, before you start sharpening your pitchforks, I’m already aware this thing is less of a game and more of a visual novel forcibly stuffed into a cold, polygonal book-shaped interface.
The Premise – A Cold Apocalypse Served Lukewarm
So what do we have here? The 23rd century is a post-apocalyptic frozen wasteland. Civilization has melted faster than my patience on Steam Early Access pages, and apparently we’re supposed to be thrilled at the prospect of famine, cultists, betrayal, and lots of self-important moral decisions. It’s all very “grimdark future,” the kind of setting that usually screams edgy tabletop campaign that never made it past session two.
Nine heroes – if you can call them that – are chasing after the Heart of Volent, some magical McGuffin with the power to “reshape reality.” Which, let me translate from marketing speak, means: “we need a shiny, lore-friendly excuse to justify branching story paths.” Oh, and naturally, they must “work together but only one can win.” Because of course, every tired trope must be jammed into the snowplow before the final credits roll.
Gameplay – Reading in 3D, Because Flat Pages Were Too Easy
Here’s the big selling point: no reflex-based gameplay. None, nada, zero. This is not a game in the traditional sense – it’s a book that someone inflated into a 3D toy-model interface. You flip pages, as if Steam hadn’t already been overrun with 10,000 visual novels that offer the same mechanic without pretending to have “gameplay.”
They brag about 80,000 words. Eighty. Thousand. Congratulations, developers, you’ve reinvented a novel. Should I applaud because you figured out ctrl+c, ctrl+v, and a UI artist who thought “page flipping animations” was engaging game design? This is essentially reading, with the added benefit of repetitive wrist strain from clicking “next.”
Now, don’t mistake me here. Narrative-driven choice games can be compelling when done properly. But Heart of Ice reeks of minimalism justified as intentional design. It is the equivalent of putting a spoonful of instant ramen in front of you, calling it “artisanal cuisine,” and expecting you not to notice it’s still just microwaved noodles.
Choices – Illusion of Freedom, Shackled in Frost
Every choice supposedly matters here. Do you align with cutthroat Hero A, or shady, cryptic Hero B? Spoiler alert: they’ll both stab you in the back anyway. Yes, the joy of betrayal, because apparently that’s the only spicing-up in this frozen story stew.
This isn’t about freedom – it’s about picking which flavor of cold misery you want to chew through.
Sure, there are multiple endings. Replayability! Secrets! Exclusive “story moments!” Which is all well and good until you realize you’re essentially slogging through War and Peace with the occasional prompt of “Do you freeze to death now, or later?”
Art and Atmosphere – Icy, Bleak, and About as Exciting as Snow Slush
You’re flipping through a 3D book. Let that sink in. Glorious immersion as shiny snow and barren landscapes confirm that yes, Earth has been turned into a gloomy icebox. But let’s not pretend: you’re not going to remember any of the visuals. You’ll remember words. Lots of them. Because that’s 99% of the experience here.
And before someone pipes up, “but it’s atmospheric, it’s meant to be minimal!” please stop. If I wanted barren, minimalist atmosphere, I’d stare at my fridge freezer gone too long without defrosting. It’s literally the same vibe without the steampunk font overlays.
AI Content – The Dreaded Weasel Disclosure
And here it is, tucked away quietly: yes, some content was AI generated. “Just some multimedia elements,” they say. Which is PR speak for “the tedious fluff no human being wanted to draw, we outsourced to a bot.” Oh great, now even frozen wastelands come with corporate plagiarism assistance. Next thing you know, even the endings will be written by ChatGPT for maximum efficiency.
System Requirements – A Snowball’s Chance in Hell
| Minimum | Windows 10, 1 GHz Processor, 4 GB RAM, Vulkan graphics, 600 MB storage |
| Recommended | A 64-bit system, because in this frozen wasteland, your potato PC may not survive |
Remarkably low requirements for a “game.” Almost as if the entire thing is literally just a glorified PDF reader wrapped up in icy lipstick. Your calculator from high school might actually be able to run this.
Final Diagnosis – Storybook Syndrome
Now, let me put on my medical doctor hat for a moment. This title suffers from a chronic case of Storybook Syndrome: overinflated sense of depth, limited gameplay organs, and a narrative infection masquerading as mechanics. Prescribe three doses of actual interactivity and call me in the morning.
Is the story itself intriguing? For hardcore fans of interactive fiction and narrative-heavy gamebooks, sure. You might even find yourself lost in the cold world, hunting secrets and unlocking “exclusive revelations.” For the rest of us who actually want interaction beyond scrolling through a digital diary, this will feel like being trapped inside an endless tutorial – text, choices, text, more text.
Final Verdict
Verdict: Lukewarm. Interesting for fans of gamebooks, lifeless for everyone else. A cold, barren reading simulator pretending to be a video game.
If all you want is to read a hefty chunk of storytelling presented in an icy, shiny wrapper, then fine – go ahead. But don’t wander in expecting a “game” in the sense normal human beings use the word. This is narrative elitism with some animation slapped on. Harmless, but ultimately forgettable.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is entirely my opinion.
Article source: Heart of Ice by Dave Morris, https://store.steampowered.com/app/3822580/Heart_of_Ice_by_Dave_Morris/
