This Puzzle Game Demands a Titan’s Rig for a Cozy Café Lie
Hello everyone. Today, I’m tearing into a game that dares to wear the most pretentious hipster cardigan of them all: “I Wanna Play That Picture Puzzle with Numbers All Day!” Yes, that’s the title. No, I’m not kidding. Somewhere out there, a marketing team thought that a phrase which sounds like an elderly aunt rambling after two cups of instant coffee was the perfect way to sell a puzzle game. Strap in, folks, because this one is a ride through rainy cafés, AI-generated muzak, and an uncanny obsession with smartphone-wielding anime girls.
The Premise – Numbers, Squares, and Rainy Day Jazz
So what exactly do you do in this game? Well, you solve picross puzzles. Numbers on the side, fill the boxes, make pixel art, rinse, repeat. Now don’t get me wrong, picross is an excellent genre. It’s got that Sudoku crack energy where suddenly you’ve lost three hours just filling boxes. The catch here is that this game wraps itself in an “endlessly cozy rainy café experience.” Translation: you’re supposed to feel intellectually superior while sipping a pretend latte listening to AI-generated smooth jazz with thunderstorm ambience. Because nothing says riveting gameplay like pretending to be the main character in a Tumblr aesthetic gif.
The “Features”
- Solve puzzles: Yes, obviously. You’ve played one picross, you’ve played them all. The pitch is different board sizes ranging from 5×5 to the monstrous 40×30, which is essentially giving yourself a migraine for fun. It’s like Dark Souls but for spreadsheets.
- Over 100 chats: Oh joy, because what every puzzle game needs is the option to pause and watch drawn girls stare into their phones like zombified NPCs. If I wanted that, I’d take the metro at rush hour.
- Free to play, no ads, no microtransactions: Absolutely suspicious. Whenever a developer “generously” tells me that something is free in 2025, my conspiracy radar goes off harder than a Twitch chat during a speedrun. Is the real game here solving picross, or is it training Skynet with our clicking patterns?
AI-Generated Everything
The devs proudly announce that the game uses AI-generated music and sound effects. Wonderful. Nothing says immersion quite like background tracks that sound like they were thrown together by a bored algorithm that’s one all-nighter away from hallucinating. It’s the gaming equivalent of hospital cafeteria food: technically functional, nutritionally questionable, and depressingly soulless. Trust me, as someone who’s spent too much time around actual medical equipment, beeping soundscapes are not exactly the magic recipe for relaxation.
System Requirements – For A Puzzle Game?!
| Minimum | RTX 3060, 16 GB RAM, Core i5 |
| Storage | 500 MB |
Excuse me-what? A 3060 graphics card, 16GB RAM, and a modern i5? For a grid of numbers and some AI-generated elevator jazz? What clandestine operations are running in the background here? Either this thing is mining crypto in a rainy café simulation or it’s phoning home your puzzle-solving data for the mothership. Congratulations, you’re no longer filling squares; you’re training someone’s robo overlord database.
Overall Impression
This game is basically picross with a faux-artsy wrapper, anime girls glued to phones, and AI background noise. It’s “free” but with computer-melting requirements that make no sense unless this is the Trojan horse equivalent of Minesweeper. As a puzzle game? Sure, it’ll scratch the itch for people who enjoy grids and quiet ambience. As a suspiciously resource-hungry “free” title? Yeah, I’m watching you, rainy café overlords.
In medicine we say, “If the patient presents with a cough but needs a rocket engine for diagnosis, something is very, very wrong.” Same principle applies here.
Final verdict: The game has a solid core idea buried under a mountain of questionable fluff. Great if you want your Sudoku with atmosphere and suspicion. Bad if you value your graphics card not working harder than when running Cyberpunk 2077.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is entirely my opinion.
Article source: I Wanna Play That Picture Puzzle with Numbers All Day!
