A Dating App, A Niqab, and a 9mm – The Plot Twist Nobody Ordered
Hello everyone. Let’s talk about the kind of story that happens when bad reality TV, a crime documentary, and an episode of Grand Theft Auto roleplay collide in the most absurd way possible. You’d think this plot was rejected from Netflix for being “too far-fetched,” but no, this circus was very much real. Enter: Aimee Betro – an otherwise average Wisconsin woman who decided that her otherwise average resume (childhood development and graphic design) was missing one crucial bullet point: “international contract killer.”
The Great Family Feud – Birmingham Edition
Our story begins with the kind of shop dispute you’d expect in a low-budget soap opera. Mohammed Aslam and his son Mohammed Nabil Nazir got into an altercation at a Birmingham clothing shop owned by Aslat Mahumad. This petty spat snowballed into a full-blown violent blood feud. And as all sensible people do when tempers flare – naturally, they decide to hire a transatlantic hitwoman.
They didn’t hire John Wick, mind you. They went for a dating-app acquaintance from West Allis… because clearly Tinder profiles now include “Available for murder, inquire within.” Nazir had met Betro online and had a fling during her earlier UK visit. Whether this romantic interlude inspired mutual passion or just mutual conspiracy remains murky, but next thing we know, she’s back in the UK in August 2019 dressed for the summer and armed with a 9mm, ready to be the world’s most underqualified assassin.
Assassination Attempts for Beginners
On the big day, she buys a second-hand Mercedes using the alias “Becky Booth” (very subtle, nobody would suspect a Becky), drives around with the conspirators scoping out the target’s house, then dons a niqab as a disguise. She aims at Sikander Ali from point-blank range – and here’s where fate, divine intervention, or just cheap ammo steps in – the gun jams. That’s right, the Almighty RNG of firearms decided not today, thank you very much.
Instead of calling it quits, she taxis back later that night to fire three rounds at the family home. Still misses the actual human target. Honestly, if this were a video game, she’d be stuck on the tutorial mission. Then, with the oblivious confidence of someone who just failed spectacularly, she hops on a flight out of Manchester the very next day.
A Criminal Mastermind… Not
What follows reads like a rejected DLC from the Far Cry franchise. Betro and Nazir take a little post-hitman holiday to Seattle, detour through Area 51 (because of course), Los Angeles, San Francisco – basically a “Sorry we botched the murder” road trip. Meanwhile, investigators back in the UK are piecing together a case that would stretch on for years, slowed by a global pandemic and requiring an FBI-NCA-UK Police crossover event worthy of a Marvel film.
Eventually, she’s tracked down in Armenia, because apparently if you’re fleeing justice you go to the nearest place that sounds like a deleted Mission: Impossible location. Arrested, extradited, dragged to trial. Her defense? “It was another American woman who looked like me, sounded like me, used my phone, wore my trainers, and appeared on CCTV.” Sure, and Bigfoot did the reconnaissance work while Elvis handled the getaway car.
The Verdict – Spoiler: She’s Guilty
The jury took almost 21 hours to deliberate, probably because they kept pausing to wonder if they were being pranked. They found her guilty of conspiracy to murder. The verdict paints her not as some hapless bystander to a lovers’ quarrel, but as an “extremely dangerous and motivated” individual who planned it with others across continents. The police still aren’t sure whether she was paid or simply did it out of misguided loyalty to Nazir – which in either case, is the kind of life choice you regret when your Tinder bio is submitted as evidence in Crown Court.
Final Thoughts
Some stories make you question humanity. This one makes you question basic intelligence stats. A so-called “fairly unexceptional” woman somehow checks into a multi-year international murder conspiracy like she’s booking an Airbnb. The plan: amateur-hour at its finest. The execution: literally defective. The outcome: prison. And somehow, here we are reading about it like it’s a premium-tier soap opera episode.
Overall impression? Bad. Not bad as in “evil masterstroke,” bad as in “how was this person trusted with a loaded weapon?” It’s the tragicomedy of crime – amusing in its sheer improbability but terrifying in its intent. The target lived because the plot failed at every mechanical and intellectual checkpoint. In gaming terms: critical mission failure, but you’re still out of respawns.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is entirely my opinion.
Source: A dating app, a niqab and a 9mm gun – how a US woman was hired to end a UK family feud, https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cn72x5p8801o
